The Silly Season Survival Guide: Protecting Your Festive Investments (Before Your Cousin Crashes Into Them)

Nine Fridays. That's all that stands between you and Christmas. Nine increasingly chaotic Fridays where your productivity will plummet, your inbox will fill with "quick drinks" invitations, and your brain will slowly turn into mulled wine.

Welcome to the Silly Season, where common sense goes on holiday before you do.

The Great December Delusion

Let's be honest: December is when we all collectively lose our minds. We're tired. We're burnt out. We're desperately counting down to that glorious moment when we can finally set our Out of Office reply and pretend emails don't exist.

But in this exhausted, festive haze, we're also making some spectacularly expensive decisions. New cars! Designer watches! That espresso machine that costs more than your first car! And somewhere between the office party and the family braai, we forget one tiny detail: insurance exists for a reason.

The New Car Trap

Picture this: You've just driven off the dealership lot in your shiny new vehicle, Christmas music blasting, already planning which beach parking lot you'll pose in for Instagram. You've got that new car smell. That temporary license plate. That crushing sense of buyer's remorse mixed with pure joy.

Yes, you had to get basic insurance to secure the finance and take delivery, the bank's not stupid, they want their asset protected. But here's where December brain kicks in: is it bare-minimum insurance you hastily arranged to satisfy the dealership? It's probably not nearly enough.

You've got third-party cover because you had to. What you don't have is comprehensive cover for that hailstorm that's forecast. Or cover for the contents when your beach bag gets stolen from the back seat. Or adequate protection when Cousin Gary reverses into a pole because he was "just moving it quickly" (he wasn't insured as a driver, was he?).

Pro tip: Don't just tick the box for the dealership. Actually review your cover, add all drivers, and make sure you're properly protected. Future you (the one arguing with the finance company about who pays for the damage) will be grateful.

The Gift Inventory Update: A Love Story

Nothing says "I love you" like a R50,000 tennis bracelet or a limited-edition watch that costs more than a decent used car. These are beautiful, meaningful gifts that symbolise your affection.

They're also beautiful, meaningful gifts that can be stolen, lost, or accidentally dropped down the toilet by an overexcited nephew (true story, not my story, definitely happened to a "friend").

Here's the thing about insurance schedules: they don't magically update themselves when you acquire expensive new items. That diamond bracelet? Not covered unless you specifically add it. That designer handbag? Your standard household insurance is laughing at you right now.

Take 10 minutes to update your insurance inventory. List everything new and valuable. Yes, even the ridiculous espresso machine. Especially the espresso machine. Do you know how much those things cost to replace?

The Road Trip Reality Check

Ah, the Dezemba road trip. Sun, sea, family bonding, and the open road stretching before you. Magical, isn't it?

Less magical: realising 300 kilometers from home that your car insurance lapsed last month. Or discovering that your cover doesn't include the teenage driver you've reluctantly allowed to take the wheel. Or learning that "accidental damage" doesn't cover what happened when you tried to fit through that gap that was definitely wide enough for your car (it wasn't).

Before you load up the vehicle with enough luggage for a small army and drive off into the sunset:

• Check your insurance is current. Not "pretty sure it's current." Actually current.

• Verify who's covered to drive. If Cousin Gary is getting behind the wheel, you need to know about it. And so does your insurer.

• Review your cover. Does it include roadside assistance? Towing? Accommodation if you break down in the middle of nowhere?

• Know your excess. Because budgeting for a festive season emergency is the least festive thing ever, but necessary.

The Silly Season Special: Common Insurance Disasters

Let me paint you some scenarios:

The Christmas Tree Incident: You've bought a real tree. It's magnificent. It's also now on fire because someone (cough Uncle Mike cough) put the lights too close to the branches. Does your household insurance cover this? Maybe! But only if you've updated your cover.

The Braai Betrayal: Your expensive new outdoor entertainment setup, the fancy braai, the sound system, the designer patio furniture, all perfect for hosting. Also perfect for thieves who notice you've posted about your three-week holiday on every social media platform.

The Boat Bought on a Whim: December's heat does strange things to people. Suddenly, you need a boat. You buy a boat. You don't insure the boat. The boat sinks. You cry. Don't be this person.

Your Silly Season Insurance Checklist

Before you check out mentally for the holidays, check these off:

• New car? Insurance sorted before the first drive.

• Expensive gifts given or received? Updated on your insurance schedule.

• Road trip planned? Insurance reviewed, drivers confirmed, coverage adequate.

• Home security checked? Alarms working, safe locked, neighbors informed you'll be away.

• Valuable items photographed? Serial numbers noted? Receipts stored somewhere safe?

• Emergency contact numbers saved? Including your insurance company's claims line?

  
  

Look, I get it. December is exhausting. Your brain is done. You just want to survive until the holidays, crack open something cold, and forget about adulting for a few weeks.

But taking an hour now to sort your insurance properly could save you from spending your entire January dealing with claims, paperwork, and the soul-crushing regret of knowing this was totally avoidable.

Plus, there's something deeply satisfying about being the responsible one at the family gathering. While everyone else is panicking about their uncovered losses, you can sit back, sip your drink, and radiate smug preparedness.

Nine Fridays to go. Make at least one of them count.

Disclaimer: This article is for entertainment purposes and general guidance. For actual insurance advice, speak to a qualified professional who isn't planning on consuming their body weight in mince pies. Unlike me.